In Plain View [modeling]

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“So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: take your everyday, ordinary life---your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life---and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for Him,” Romans 12:1.
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While finishing the last of the never ending chain of duties associated with meal clean up, I noticed Tad, 4 at the time, putting his plate in the dishwasher. He appeared to be attempting some acrobatic contortioning with his body. Puzzled and slightly intrigued I watched, but was unable to decode his bizarre movement so I asked.

“I’m closing the door,” he said matter of factly.

“Well, I don’t understand why you are twisting your body around to do it. Why not just use your hands?” I asked.

“No I have to do it like this,” he replied still attempting the same contortionist move.

“Ok, good luck with that,” I mumbled while attempting to de-stickify my kitchen table from the aftermath of the explosion we call breakfast

I noticed Tad still attempting his trick but with frustration setting in. “Momma, I can’t do it!” he said grumpily.

“Well use your hands that’s what we use to close dishwasher doors” I said.

“No, I wanna do it like you do Momma,” he said.

“What do you mean, I close the dishwasher door with my hands,” I tried to convince while continuing clean up.

“No you don’t Momma, you do it like this,” as he was continued to try and demonstrate,

“Tad I don’t know what you are talking about and I need to get the kitchen finished, so please move out of the way,” I said with impatience mounting.

“You know Momma, when you use your foot” he tried one last time.

“No Peanut I don’t know what you mean, I use my hands. Finish putting your dishes in and go wash up,” I said hoping this conversation was soon done.

He moved on in obviously frustrated defeat. I stood at the sink, reviewing my day in my head, dropping a few more dirty dishes into the dishwasher which was to my right. After finishing loading the dishes and still standing at the sink, without realizing it, I kicked my lower right leg out to grab the edge of the door and close up the dishwasher with what I now realized was a back kick.

“That’s it Momma! That’s what I’m trying to do!” Tad yelled triumphantly.

I never even realized I closed the dishwasher door that way and yet after I did it I realized I have done just that hundreds of times right before his little eyes. That’s what he was trying to replicate, that little kick move that I unconsciously do about 20 times a day.

“Tad, I get it, now I know what you mean! I just had no idea that I did that until you pointed it out to me. That’s really cool that you noticed and you wanted to try and do it too. Here, let me show you how to do it” I said.

I demonstrated and watched with excitement as he tried to replicate the move now that he had cracked the code.

I wondered about my daily unconscious patterns, making an impression on my boys, for the good and the bad. I certainly have heard a familiar grumbling of impatience out of them that rings too true not to be claimed as mine. I’ve heard the ‘how many times do I have to tell you’ exasperation. Yet, on the other hand I have seen them offer up their treat for someone else when there wasn’t enough to go around. I’ve seen them invite strangers to our home for a meal and offer help for obvious needs they saw could be met by them.

I thought about how our children are watching us to help them understand how to do this thing called life. The same is true of new believers trying to follow in the path of veteran believers. They often need a veteran to come along side them and demonstrate godliness in their choices and reactions. They rarely need someone to tell them to choose gratitude over grumbling. They need to see godliness lived out in action from someone who has done it right before their eyes over and over again. When they attempt to start imitating that action they need encouragement and maybe even an additional modeling using their own circumstances.

We can never be sure what patterns, responses, or actions of ours will be chosen by others to replicate. What we do know is that our lives are proclaiming very loudly, every day, what we value most. I began to consider what my boys were learning from me through our days together when I wasn’t ‘teaching’ them anything. I felt God’s conviction regarding complaining through certain house hold chores (particularly pee soaked bathrooms). I started considering, “I am teaching my children that this is a blessing not a curse” as I approached household tasks. I prayed God would help me model how to approach unappealing tasks without dread and complaining, which sabotage the thankfulness He’s commanded.

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“Here is a simple, rule-of-thumb guide for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them,”

Luke 6:31.

“Whoever wants to be great must become a servant. Whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave. That is what the Son of Man has done: He came to serve, not be served---and then to give away His life in exchange for the many who are held hostage,”

Mth 20:26-28.
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